Overcoming Resistance

One of Milton Erickson’s truly most incredible recognitions was his ability to not only circumvent, but provide no course or path of resistant behavior. How was this done? By demonstrating through his own communication, an understanding, and acceptance of his clients model of the world as valid. In so doing, he provided his clients with a confidence and understanding that he himself could be trusted. In other words, he gained rapport with classified "resistant" subjects by joining these patients within the model of their world, no matter how ridiculous it might have been. Rapport is not a function of likeability, but of pacing, and is measured by trust and credibility.

To circumvent resistance follow these steps.
- Match the client’s words, while accepting and demonstrating an acknowledgement of the client’s model of her world.
- Using confusion techniques elicit a trance state.
- Identify something highly valued within the client’s model of the world, which could be, or is in jeopardy due to their inappropriate behavior.
- Provide some means by which the patient can discover on her own the destructiveness of her behavior via the patient’s own efforts or internal thought patterns.
- Generate within the patient a responsive environment to the decided upon intervention.
- Communicate the new perspective in a way that is sensible and compelling.
- Provide a natural setting in which the client can use his new learning.
- The basis behind the final setting is that even a small change, if beneficial, is a good change, and will eventually snowball into greater changes with time, if and when the client notices an improvement, or benefit in the change.

Below you will find one of my most favorite examples from our most dearly beloved Milton H. Ericksons work showing how far he would go, and how far you might have to go to show your clients that you will be true to them no matter what in order to overcome their resistances.

"Her history was briefly taken. Then she was asked the two important questions. 'How tall are you and how much do you weigh?' With a look of extreme emotional distress she answered, “I am 4 feet 10 inches. I weigh between 250 and 260 pounds. I am just a plain, fat slob. Nobody would ever look at me except with disgust.”

This offered a suitable opening. She was then told, “You haven’t really told the truth. I am going to say this simply so that you will know about yourself and understand that I know about you. Then you will believe, really believe, what I have to say to you. You are not a plain, fat disgusting slob. You are the fattest, homeliest, most disgusting horrible bucket of lard I have ever seen, and it is appalling to have to look at you. You have gone through high school. You know some of the facts of life. Yet here you are, 4 feet 10 inches tall, weighing between 250 and 260 pounds. You have got the homeliest face I have ever seen. Your nose was just smashed onto your face. Your teeth are crooked. Your lower jaw doesn’t fit your upper jaw. Your face is too damn spread out. Your forehead is too hideously low. Your hair is not even decently combed. And that dress you are wearing – polka dots, millions and billions of them. You have no taste, even in clothes. Your feet slop over the edges of your shoes. To put it simply – you are a hideous mess. But you do need help. I think you know that I won’t hesitate to tell you the truth. You need to know the truth about yourself before you can learn the things necessary to help yourself. But I don’t think you can take it. Why did you come to see me?”

She answered, “I thought maybe you could hypnotize me so I could loose some weight.” I answered her with, “Maybe you can learn to go into a hypnotic trance. You are bright enough to graduate from high school. Maybe you are bright enough to learn how to go into hypnosis. I would like to have you go into hypnosis. It’s an opportunity to say a few more uncomplimentary things to you. Things I don’t think you could possibly stand to hear when you are awake. But in the trance state you can listen to me. You can understand. You can do something. Not too darn much, because you are horribly handicapped. But I want you to do everything I tell you to do, because the way you have gobbled up food to make yourself look like an overstuffed garbage pail indicates that you need to learn something so you won’t be so offensive to the human eye. Now that you know that I can tell you the truth, just close your eyes and go deeply into a trance. Don’t fool around about it, just as you don’t fool around in making yourself a disgusting eyesore. Go into a completely deep, hypnotic trance."

Milton H. Erickson Vol.#4 pgs. 66, 67.

email: dr_frank@hypnoticadvancements.com

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Dr. Frank Valente Ph.D.(c)
Hypnotic Advancements
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© 2004, Dr. Frank Valente Ph.D.(c)

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